Go to Home Page

almost 18, and still taking baby steps

February 21st, 2012 | 3 Comments »

This boy of mine, a man-child with the deep voice and winsome smile, self-sufficient and capable who is learning to drive and manage a bank account and negotiate girls and friendships….. so much that’s happening with him on every passing day but he can’t seem to manage taking a shower without a few heavy knocks on the door.

And on occasion, shutting off the hot water and giving him ‘The Big Chill’.

As battles go, I know this one is pretty low on the priority scale. When we say ‘Be home by midnight’ he’s usually walking in the door around 11:30. When he has a sleepover with his friends, the worst thing they do is consume too much junk food and pop.
He makes his own breakfast and lunch. When we ask for him to manage dinner, he makes us a feast. If I leave him a task list before I go to work, it’s complete by the time I come home. He still likes to hang out with us, watching a movie or TV show. He washes his own clothes without our prompting, he willingly goes to church, he loves to read and he enjoys good friendships with his band of brothers from his Youth Group, and with his cousins.

But, he still needs ‘The Big Chill’.

He’s not sneaking out of the house after we’re asleep, to meet friends who encourage illicit activities. He’s not coming home from hanging out with his pals sporting telltale signs of substance abuse or alcohol consumption. He’s not stealthily smoking cigarettes, chasing after all kinds of girls, committing vandalism, TP-ing houses, terrorizing neighbors. We trust his friends, and that goes far. If the worst offense he encounters away from the protection of our wings is a trip to Chipotle after his rec league basketball game, then I consider us pretty darn lucky.

Then come those morning, and we have to flip that knob that cuts the flow of hot water, because the knock at the door and the responding ‘Ok.’ haven’t made a bit of difference.

He turns 18 in April, and yet, in no way in this man-child an adult. Maybe in some ancient time, when life was far different and everyone needed to be so much more self-sufficient, and when the life expectancy was more like 30, when we didn’t have the ability to thrive in to our 80’s or higher, when the dangers of life could take their toll far quicker and more exacting, maybe then 18 was adulthood, worthy of responsibility, of letting go and watching them spread their own wings to fly. Used to be that a girl of 18 who was unmarried was considered too old. A time existed that man of 18 had all the markings of adulthood;  a wife, a homestead and his own team of horses. But this isn’t the case now.

And that’s all right with me. I wasn’t ready to fly by myself either at that age. And although he moves closer to finding his own freedom every day, and we plot to move him in the right direction, he still has moments where he sits down by me, just wanting my proximity. He still loves it when I grab him in a huge hug, and hold on tight. He can figure out his future, take stock of what he wants from it and try to make it all work out and I can sit back and enjoy the process of seeing him test those wings, listening and supporting his ideas. I find a few things to tease him about, but it’s a huge stretch to do so, because this boy of mine, for all those moments of forgetfulness, when he doesn’t recall the task list I left or simply decides he doesn’t want to do what we ask, well those are few and far between. And as parenting a teenager goes, it’s an awfully good thing going on here, worthy of the pride it evokes.

If my only vice with him is that he is soothed by a long, hot shower in the morning, then I’ve got little to complain about.

{{Just Write 23}} is happening, over at The Extraordinary Ordinary.
Won’t you head over there and read some of the other posts?? 

friday fun

November 12th, 2010 | 2 Comments »

Well I did it now. I mentioned winter. And snow. And apparently tomorrow Minnesota will get it’s first significant snowfall.

But will we see something like this?

Or will it be more like this?

It sounds like it will be wet, and in our area North of the Twin Cities we might not see much at all. But for November 13, and after the most glorious Fall that I can remember, it’s all right that it’s coming. It’s time to move on.

And today I finally had my MRI to get a good look at what happened in the car accident. The vertigo, nausea and dizziness that came on seemed to magically fade as of only yesterday, which was a welcome relief. Still, the chiropractor wants to know that nothing really serious occurred.

I’ve only had one MRI before and I don’t recall much about it. This one wasn’t bad but it was really, really long. I was in that thing for like two hours. The only way to get through it, with the loud pounding noises happening right under my head was to try and think of some kind of explanation to attach to the sounds I was hearing so that I didn’t go crazy with boredom laying in that tiny tube. There was ‘Extreme Techno Pop’ sound, that made me feel like I was in a loud and throbbing dance club; there was ‘Pneumatic Construction Hammer’ sound so I imagined I was watching some construction guy with tree trunk arms busting up concrete,. There was the fun sound that seemed to be repeating ‘backpack! backpack! backpack!’ over and over. I couldn’t dream up any scenario to attach to that one though outside of a frantic kid who’d lost his backpack and was tearing around looking for it. There was ‘Super Charged Engine’ sound which made me dream of being in Mike’s Porsche on the open road, then also ‘Banging on Metal Pipes’ sound. That sort of made me want to tell someone to be quiet.  And through it all, the hum of the machine drummed through my head, often matching the rhythm of my heartbeat which was both odd and sometimes creepy. I did doze off slightly, I became wildly overheated, almost to a point of feeling feverish and I was famished by the time I was done.

So yeah. All in all it was….. uh, quite the experience and I am glad it’s over. I should know the results Monday at my next visit with the Chiropractor.

And it’s Friday. Which when you aren’t working means nothing. So I’ll leave you with a few things I am really grateful for today:

~~~The unfailing support of my spouse
~~~Services whose only goal is to help you get out from under an impossible situation.
~~~Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. (seriously, I love you guys. All of you.)
~~~Again, my new washer and dryer *sigh* (I have mad appliance love, folks)
~~~The right perspective
~~~ Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends.